Stay on the Boat

Sometimes the best decision is not making one for a while

The professional arms himself with patience, not only to give time for the stars to align, but to keep himself from flaming out - The War of Art Steven Pressfield

Staying on the boat is really about not rushing into decisions. (I’m still not good at this - just ask my wife about my recent car purchase). Following your gut is important in certain situations like when taking that exam or if you should run from that oncoming tiger, but in the case of less immediate and dire decisions, gut instincts coupled with patience usually reveal the best answer.

Recently, our son was fortunate enough to get recruited for college soccer. It happened quickly and let’s just say his gut was in knots. The school was a good fit, and the soccer team and academics were both high caliber. He committed quickly but not going through the normal recruiting process made him anxious about his decision. Our advice was to just stay on the boat. In time, we believed the decision would ultimately reveal that it was the right one. After having more time to engage with the coaches in person, meet some future teammates, and see the school, he realized that this was the right choice.

Now while you may not have a son who plays soccer or a husband who makes rash car purchases, there are a few takeaways to consider on the value of patience when it comes to decisions.

When we think about waiting as it relates to decisions, we shouldn’t think about it in terms of time but really about inner space - just giving our minds a chance to move through the decision and ultimately confirm or reveal that the decision was right.

Wanting or needing an answer right away misses the point - patience is in finding value in the questions, in and of themselves.

Rushing into decisions gets us caught up in instant gratification but patience allows you to practice awareness and see the bigger picture.

Another great example of my poor decision-making - just the other day I quickly decided to send off an email to someone who was sharing negative news in our basketball group chat. I wanted him to stop but then after taking some time, I realized that sending this news information in the chat was his way of trying to stay connected to the group because he’s currently not able to play. While I don’t see the value in the information he shares, I empathize with his plight and desire to stay connected to the group. This revelation happened post email send but I rebounded nicely with my follow-up.

(Bad email decision, rotten three-year lease….the list continues for me.)

Another danger of impatience is that it can lead to frustration which can cause you to quit if you get too caught up in it. And quitting can cause you to miss out on opportunities big and small. Patience allows you to map out the decision - weigh the good and bad and see how this affects short and long-term goals.

Practicing patience doesn’t mean holding back on every choice and waffling with indecision. Patience gives you breathing space and allows you to be more comfortable with taking the time to assess and reflect on how you want to proceed.

Finally, practicing patience can give you more self-confidence knowing that you didn’t rush into making a decision that may not end well for you.

So next time you are stuck in decisions that are not life or death, stay on the boat a bit longer and the right answers will come to you in waves.

Now is anyone interested in a three-year car lease?

Every Friday, I share lessons to my kids that can apply to everyone else.

If you’d like to subscribe, sign up here.