Remember to enjoy the ride.

Being present has a host of unexpected benefits.

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Yesterday, my third child got his license. As a parent, you spend countless hours in the car serving as the family Uber - taking your children back and forth to soccer and lacrosse games, Chick-fil-A, friends’ houses, and more.

I’ve had some of my best memories driving the kids around. I watched my oldest daughter bounce up and down to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and we would have deep-dive discussions about AAU basketball. I currently drive my college-age daughter to and from Temple University for breaks and we’ll have great conversations about college lacrosse and life, living in the pandemic, and why Talula’s Garden is the best restaurant in the city. My son and I will have passionate conversations about his favorite NBA players and who the best center is in the league currently. (Hint: Trust the Process).

The most important takeaways from the time in the car with my kids is that I always practiced staying present and cherishing that time. Mind you, sometimes the phone gets in the way but I love that time and aimed to truly live in the moment.

Seeing my son get his license was also a reminder that life moves so fast and before you know it you are an empty nester. Take every moment you can to be engaged and present and get the most out of them.

Beyond the benefits of being fully present with your kids in the car, David Cain of Business Insider provided a host of other unique reasons why keeping your attention in the present is the world’s most useful (and underrated) skill.

Here are some of my favorites:

Pain doesn’t feel so painful.

When you bang your thumb with the hammer, if you turn away from the pain and start screaming about how terrible of a handyman you are, you increase the suffering. But if you just lean into the pain, it does take the edge off. Try it next time. Just breathe and focus on the pain. (No need to bang your thumb with a hammer to get the full effect).

That workout gets easier.

If you spend your time just thinking about how long that Peloton bike ride is going to be you’ll never get on the bike. Just get on and focused on turning the pedals. Before you know it, the workout is over.

Big projects aren’t so big anymore.

For the same reason you don’t want to focus on the entire Peloton ride, you don’t want to focus on the big project in its entirety. Just send the first email, write out the first list of goals, or make the first phone call. Breaking it down into single actions allows focus and you’ll see that the project moves faster, and you’ll have that checked off in your list in no time.

Food tastes better.

We spend so much time just eating fast, putting food down our throat and moving on. Next time you are at Chick-fil-A with your son, just take a moment and focus on each bite and appreciating the flavor and texture in your mouth. It will taste better, the food will last longer, and surprisingly, you’ll slow down and get full faster so you may not need the second chicken sandwich.

Hobbies get easier.

When I paint (or when you engage in any hobby), I just focus on what’s in front of me - each brushstroke. I don’t focus on how the picture is going to look or how I am going to complete it. The artist Tim Benson says don’t get caught up in how much the painting looks like the original, just focus on finding shapes and on individual brushwork and it will probably look pretty close. He’s right. And you’ll have spent an hour completely engaged in painting and without those unnecessary thoughts running around in your head.

You feel like a kid again.

Remember when we were kids? You spend more time in the world and less time in thoughts about the world. Come back to the present moment and you’ll see those thoughts shrink in your head and you’ll find more joy in the present moment and feel like a kid again.

You’ll find out why you are off.

Sometimes we feel off. This happen to me this past week and I couldn’t figure out why. I sat down and engaged in mindful breathing allowing thoughts to come and to see what was eating at my stomach. Turns out I don’t like being trapped in my house in the snow and being alone. Now I choose to spend less time wondering why my motivation is low and just recognizing that the snow will melt eventually and I’ll be back with friends soon.

You get less screen time.

Practicing mindfulness allows you to give your mind a break and you won’t need Netflix to pass the time. Besides most shows tend to drive my anxiety up. Next time, spend twenty minutes sitting quietly and you won’t need Below Deck as much.

You realize we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

If you stay in the present when you meet someone, you become less distracted or intimidated by job titles and education levels, etc. Instead, you focus on visual cues and the current conversation and you’ll soon find that we all put our pants on the same way each day.

Deadlines aren’t so deadly anymore.

If you’re used to living in your head, obligations, deadlines, and debts visit you constantly on an emotional level, like gumballs rattling around the jar. Invest your full attention in what you’re doing now, relax, and let go of thoughts that you’re not going to act on until later.

Just remember, no matter the challenges, always stay in the moment - it makes the ride so much better.

“The present moment is the substance with which the future is made. Therefore, the best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment. What else can you do?” - Thich Nhat Hanh

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