I am definitely not the smartest person in the room but I do think this tactic can be effective…
Definition: If you describe someone's behavior as self deprecating, you are implying that they criticize themselves or represent themselves as foolish in a light-hearted way.
There are certainly countless things you can make fun of about me but in this case…
When I think of self deprecation, I don’t think of it as criticism but simply as a way to leverage humility. I’ve shared with my kids that self deprecation is like offering up a slice of humble pie - gently poking fun at yourself to create a better connection with friends and clients.
If this had anything to do with chemistry, I would have failed. But it seems to offer a way to make stronger connections…
What I’m doing is simply acknowledging that someone has limited time or that they have a lot to consider, or perhaps I lightly disagree with their position. When I poke a little fun and remind someone that I’m not an expert or know it all, I make myself more relatable and in turn, people tend to lower their guard and are more apt to respond.
Doesn’t it make sense? Human relationships are key in all areas of life. Being able to better understand, connect, empathize, and negotiate with others is really important as we look to evolve and grow.
I know. I tend to run on and you get annoyed with me, but this point is a good one.
Self deprecation allows us to self regulate the ability to control our emotions and impulses. We slow down, we take the other person’s emotions or position into account and become more measured and thoughtful.
I’m not the epitome of happiness but this does help.
It’s also a great coping mechanism and a way to make you happier. I’ve often used this to maneuver in awkward social interactions.
Tumblr is so easy to use that it’s hard to explain. Okay, it’s not actually hard to explain. We lied. But now you understand this thing. So come on in….
It’s even happening in advertising - brands now poke fun of themselves in their messaging. This allows them to stand apart from other brands who haven’t caught up with a more hip, humble sense of humor.
Sure, my fashion choices can be a bit strange but I’m sexy on the inside…
If that’s not enough, self deprecation makes you sexier! A study from Evolutionary Psychology showed that women viewed self deprecating humor in high-status men as both charming and attractive.
We can all use some better conversations and connections. Next time you are reaching out, asking a favor, offering help, responding to a question or task, try to be just a bit self-deprecating and see how the dialogue shifts.
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I also have a twitter account called @thegogetter2020 where I share articles I like about personal growth. Go ahead and follow if that’s your thing.
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